I’ve been thrown several lately.
I’m trying to catch them all.
And I think I’m doing a pretty good job.
I’ll be OK.
Tallyho,
Harry
Author: harry
Like a Ton of Bricks
The reality that in 4 days I will be leaving Texas caught me completely off guard, but somehow just at the right moment.
I called my grandmother to thank her for sending me a check to purchase dorm furnishings. It’s her little tradition to take the grandkids dorm shopping in the weeks leading up to their college departure, however, since I won’t be attending school anywhere within reasonable driving distance, she sent me money and let me use it to get what I needed. All was well until she began to talk about how proud she was, and how she thinks it’s brave of me to be going so far away from home so I could pursue what I have always wanted. After our little conversation, I choked out a measly “bye” and then I completely lost it.
I was in the car with my mother on the way to dinner when this little exchange took place. I cried, she cried, for a second the whole world cried, and for the life of me, I could not get it back together. I was in that state where your lips keep contorting into painful shapes and that lump in your throat just won’t go away. That state where you are doing more of an “angry cry” because you can’t stop crying. It was bad. I haven’t cried like that in a while.
So we stop off at my mom’s work to pick up her cell phone that she had left there earlier that day. (My mom owns her own preschool, and I have been working there over the summer to earn some extra money for school, and have really enjoyed my coworkers and the kids. Some of the people I work with I have known my entire life, and it’s like having a completely second family. It’s the greatest thing ever.) I walk into a room to grab the phone, and every one of my coworkers (more like friends/ second family) are there waiting on me to surprise me for a goodbye party.
You can imagine what happened next.
I lose it even worse than before. I am doing the ugly sob. Not because of sadness, but because I was surrounded by a group of people who love me completely and totally, and, I swear there is no greater feeling on earth.
That all being said, I am, yet again stuck in a contradiction. I simultaneously feel like I am leaving this whole group of dear friends who love me, and I am trying to resist the urge to say,”Forget it! I’m not going to college! I’m staying here and we’re gonna be friends and take little car rides together and play games and run errands for fun together FOREVER!” and then there is another part of me that feels like with a group of people behind me who care about me this much, how could I ever fail?
Tallyho,
Harry
p.s. I’m having dinner with my grandparents tomorrow night, and I am going to try and keep it together.
p.p.s. tomorrow is also my last day at work, and I am going to completely lose it AGAIN
p.p.p.s. I am also doing the ice bucket challenge tomorrow. It’s gonna be quite a day.
p.p.p.p.s. That photo above is me and my dearest friends, plus my BFF/ cousin. These 3 kept my surprise party hidden from me ALL WEEK, and I love them.
Preparations
4 days.
Only 4 days until I can officially say I “live” in California. My friends are dropping off like flies, to this university and that university, and I feel like I’m the only one left. It’s kinda sad, but we all knew this would happen. With the fear, excitement and anticipation of the big move hanging over my head like a cartoon anvil, I’ve been racing to make sure I have everything I need. I shipped 2 huge boxes of stuff to the hotel in CA, and am probably going to ship one more. Clothes, shoes, gadgets are all coming with me on the plane. I plan to take full advantage of our 6 allotted checked bags. But, I can’t pack my clothes until:
1. They’re all clean
2. I won’t need them to look cute during this last week at home.
AKA I’m stalling.
But at least I’m honest.
I also think I’m ready. I’ve gone to visit a friend who is attending a university fairly close to home, and, before that, I’d never seen a college campus in “full swing”. I think it’ll be fun to dive into university life when I get there, and I am hoping and praying that it all works out in my favor. But I have few doubts.
Lately I’ve had this sudden and unsolicited hankering to move to New England.. Massachusetts, maybe… It sounds nice. But California is nothing to shake a stick at.
Here’s to hoping I’m doing the right thing.
Tallyho,
H
Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
Things change.
More appropriately for me, sh*t happens.
Sometimes, sh*t happens all at once.
I wasn’t planning on writing all that much about this experience, but, here I am. I have no real reason to complain, but when things don’t work out as you were hoping, I find it helps to vent just a little bit, even if it is to strangers on the internet.
A few months ago, I had made a post on this ever-so-neglected blog of mine, and divulged where I would be attending college. A large, well known, renowned private school in southern California. My dream school since childhood. A beacon of intelligence and excellence in (to me) the greatest city on earth. (L.A.- I don’t care how many people disagree!) However, there is a little thing called “financial aid” that those readers under the age of 18 should get to know real quick. Financial aid can save your life, and it can also ruin it. Unfortunately for me, it was the latter.
Well, I dare to say “ruin”… After all everything happens for a reason. I won’t go into all the dirty details, but what happened was, this big, prestigious, “brand name” school did not provide me with a financial aid award conducive to mine and my family’s needs. Plain and simple. (In fact, they “jipped” me for lack of a better phrase, but who’s bitter? Certainly not me..)
At the time, it felt to me like I had worked so hard to obtain something, then I finally got it, and I was not allowed to enjoy it. Like doing extra chores for a month to save money for a Game Boy. And then you save the money, buy the Game Boy, only to find that you can’t open the box. I held my dream in my own hands, and then felt it become too heavy a burden to hold any longer.
Fortunately for me, I had submitted the commitment deposit at a smaller university in southern California, a stone’s throw from LA with an up-and-coming film program. My choices were to either sell my soul to the devil and live a life of debt to pay off that “brand name” education, or attend a lesser-known (but still reputable) university that I had not even planned on attending (the commitment deposit was a contingency plan barring any unforeseen changes, which inevitably came to pass) nor had given much thought to applying to when application season was upon me. (I submitted the essay requirements the day the application was due… whoops) That being said, this smaller, non “name brand” school offered me a very generous scholarship.
The choice, in the end was clear cut. Though it was not what I originally had in mind for myself, I have decided to attend the smaller, lesser-known school, in place of the “brand name”. Am I complaining about a scholarship? No. Am I kicking myself for moving so far away? A little, but that’s another post. Do I need to check my privilege? Yes, probably. I am extremely lucky and blessed to be able to even say I am attending college at all, let alone pursuing a film degree. So many of my high school classmates were steered by their parents into a business or medical or engineering program, and I am beyond fortunate to have parents who recognize passion.
The moral of the story is, things happen and plans change and the way we envisioned our futures is very rarely the way they shape up to be.
And that is not a bad thing.
Go Panthers.
Tallyho,
Harry
Wow.
It’s been a year.
Much has transpired since I last posted on this blog shortly before Christmas last year. Rather than spend 13 paragraphs detailing my life, I felt an update in list form would be much more efficient.
1. I have decided where I’m going to college.
2. It’s (SCHOOL NAME HERE).
3. I turned 18.
4. Yikes.
5. School is almost over.
6. I couldn’t be happier about that.
7. I couldn’t be more sad about that.
8. I am having some serious struggles planning my graduation party.
9. As I write this, I am simultaneously ordering more Polaroid film.
10. I’ve spent my days half asleep in class, and my nights half asleep at home.
11. I’m going through cycles of complete apathy interspersed with bursts of sudden inspiration and energy.
12. Lately, I’ve been feeling stuck.
13. But I’m also feeling free.
14. This is a time of contradictions for me.
15. Or maybe it isn’t.
16. I’m drinking a passion tea lemonade.
17. I don’t feel like an adult yet.
18. But I want to.
19. I missed writing on this blog.
20. I’m happy to be back.
Dusty Roads
Here are some photos I took on the way home from my Grandmother’s ranch. Taken with an iPhone 4S and edited in Snapseed.
On the First Day of Christmas…
I have a big family. Really big. Gargantuan. Monolithic. Humongous. Whatever fancy word you’d like to use to describe it. It’s big. Having a big family means it’s almost always a hassle to schedule your Christmas festivities around each other. He’s working this day, she has off that day, but they don’t get off till 6. What are we eating? Who’s house are we going to? What am I bringing? Whose name do I have? Somehow, Christmas on my mother’s side ended up being yesterday (the 22nd). And, so, we ventured south to visit my grandmother (mom’s mom) and her side of the family for the first of four Christmases, sans Vince and Reese. (“Four Christmases”- haha, I sleigh myself…) The Vince joke would actually work.. I have an uncle named Vince who lives out of state and doesn’t get to visit often. Anyhew, the first day of Christmases was smashing and dazzling and extremely cold. Texas is so strange… One day it thinks it’s Arizona, and the next day it thinks it’s Maine. Make up your mind, dude. I won’t bore you with the little details of the day, but I was graciously given some sweaters, socks and a fabulous Kodak “Holiday Flash” Brownie camera from 1956 (40 years before I was born!) 
Also, I would like you all to please behold the glory of my sweater that I made the night before last. 
Please disregard the dirty counter/mirror, but feel free to bask in the glory that is my sweater. My cousin Kalee and I decided it would be fun to wear “ugly” sweaters to Christmas this year, so, naturally I went all out. 
Side Note: I feel the term “ugly” sweater is rather incorrect. This thing is glamorous and magical.
Hope everyone is having a great holiday season, whatever you celebrate!
Tallyho,
Harry
It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like I’m Going Insane
Winter is upon us, my dear readers! And if you’re in the DFW area, as well as other parts of the country, it is literally upon you. For us here in the Big D, the storm hit late Thursday night, closing schools and businesses all across the metroplex. HALLALEW! Initially, I was excited. Thrilled. Elated. A three day weekend for me! Or so I thought. Though the storm hasn’t caused any huge problems for me (i.e. my car didn’t slide off the freeway, my power didn’t go out, etc.), but I have even forced into the solitude of my room for the sake of my own sanity. I can only deal with my family for so long before the “togetherness” starts to take its toll. Yes, the house is decorated for the holidays. Yes, we’ve played board games. But no. I cannot take it for very long. Am I a typical teenager or what? Anyway, I’m posting this on Sunday, which for me is day 3 of the frozen hell in which I am currently living. It’s not even like there is snow on the ground. It’s all just hard packed ice. It’s amazing to me how life in Texas completely shuts down when there is ice on the ground. Weather here ranges from soup to nuts, so we were bound to become a tundra for a few days sometime… Regardless, I took the liberty of walking around my backyard and snapping a few photos of the ice to share here. This ice is deceiving. It plays tricks. You look at it and think, “Oh how nice! Look at all that snow! Lovely!” Do not jump into it. Do not attempt to make a snow angel. Do not attempt to have any fun with the ice at all. It will kill you. Ok maybe not, but it will give you one heck of a bruise if you jumped into it..
Hope you enjoyed these!
All photos taken on an iPhone 4S, and edited on an iPad using Snapseed (comprehensive snapseed post coming later!)
The ACT of Losing Your SATurdays- My Test Day Survival Guide
Whether it’s the SAT, the ACT or any other standardized test, test days can be stressful, monotonous, and just downright awful. Sitting in a gray classroom with a bunch of kids you don’t know, and waking up super early (on a Saturday, of all days!) to answer a bunch of questions is no fun, to say the least. But have no fear- I’m here with a list of tips to make your test day experience a little less awful.
#1. Frankie say RELAX
Feels like it’s easier said than done, doesn’t it? But it’s true. The SAT/ACT does not test how good of a person you are. It cannot determine whether or not you will succeed in life. It tells you how well you can take these tests. That’s it. I’m no psycolotyatriciologist, but doing your best to feel relaxed before a big test can help you do better! Your mind won’t be racing over the “what-if’s” or the “but-then’s”. Drink a hot cup of tea before you leave, listen to your favorite song on the way there, and don’t cram in any studying the morning of your test. A relaxed mind is a working mind!
#2. Snacks on Snacks on Snacks
During the SAT, you’re allowed to take a series of three 5-minute long breaks between sections, and during the ACT there is one longer break in the middle of the test. During these breaks, you’re allowed to munch on whatever snacks and drinks you brought with you. Foods like blueberries, blackberries and apples are known to help boost brain function and improve concentration, and almonds are a great thing to bring along for a little protein boost. Stay hydrated with a cold bottle of water, and get your caffeine in BEFORE the test! Don’t need those coffee jitters halfway through. Also, for your own sanity, pack a candy bar or chocolate bar or other naughty snack with you. It gives you something to look forward to while you’re testing!
#3. Get Comfy!
Let’s be real here. You didn’t get up at 6:30 on a Saturday and schlep all the way to your testing center to impress anyone. Even if there’s a cutie in your test room, he/she isn’t there to pick up a date. (Side note: Can you imagine? “Yeah, we met while we took the SAT. It was really romantic, and I knew when she asked me to borrow a pencil that she’d be mine.”) Anyway, wear whatever you’re the most comfortable in. Grimy old Disney World sweatshirt from the eighth grade? Yup. Your nasty tie die tshirt you made with your friend last summer? You betcha. Lucky boxer shorts? Absolutely. No one will be taking your picture. No one will be judging you. (Another side note: If you judge others based on how they look the morning of the SAT, you are a special kind of rude.) My only real recommendation here is that you bring a sweatshirt or dress in layers. You never know how cold it’s gonna get, or how warm either! The first time I took the SAT, there was no A.C. in my room. And the second time, I didn’t wear socks and nearly suffered frostbite on my toes. Happy thoughts, and happier wardrobe choices!
#4. Work Out a Routine
In the weeks (or even months, depending on how much you care) leading up to your test, it’s important to carve out a little time each afternoon or evening to study for your test. Obvi, you shouldn’t blow it off, because then you’re hurting yourself. But, at the same time, don’t overdo it! Don’t spend more than 25 minutes a night studying for this test (depending on how much time you’ve got leading up to the test). I found it very easy to stick to my system when I knew that from this time to that time I would be devoted to studying. Set a reminder on your phone. Study with a friend. As you get closer to the test, it’s a good idea to make flash cards and spend some extra time hitting the books, but, again, don’t overdo it! Moderation is key. A fun idea would be to have an SAT/ ACT party the night before, and invite a few friends over to study and munch on some snacks. Just be sure everyone gets home on time enough to sleep a nice long time! Not that you’re a fuddy-dud or anything.
#5. Know the Test
While these tests, in the long run, are relatively unimportant in the grand scheme of things, knowing how they are structured beforehand can give you an opportunity to work out a strategy. On the SAT, there are 1o total sections. One 25-minute writing section, 6 25 minute sections (mixed math and reading), 2 20 minute sections, and one 10 minute section, with three breaks interspersed among these. Also, on the SAT, you’re given one raw point for every correct answer, and lose one quarter of a point for every wrong answer. Omitted answers neither gain points nor lose points. So, unless you’re shooting for a perfect score, don’t worry about answering every question. On the ACT, you ARE counted off for omitted answers, so try to answer as many as possible! (Also, on the SAT, questions in each section are organized with the easiest ones at the beginning, medium level questions in the middle, and the hardest ones at the end of the section. Use that to your advantage!)
#6. You’re Not in this Alone
Everyone in that room is in the same boat. They’re all a little nervous. They’re all feeling unprepared. They’re all trying to get into college just like you, and they’re all just doing their best too. Don’t sweat it too much! Do your best and everything will work out. Don’t let these scores define your abilities and your worth as a person. They’re just numbers.
Tallyho,
Harry
I’m Alive
Barely.
SOO much has happened in the weeks during my blogging hiatus. 4 papers have been written. A short story is in the works. Brides have fallen down stairs. And coolers have been painted. Welcome to my life. More posts to come, but until then, I leave you with this hot pic of me.
As always, y’all should totes mc’gotes follow me on my Pinterest and my Tumblr
Harry Brained- Photography, Life & Time Travel 