I’ve been thrown several lately.
I’m trying to catch them all.
And I think I’m doing a pretty good job.
I’ll be OK.
Tallyho,
Harry
journal
Like a Ton of Bricks
The reality that in 4 days I will be leaving Texas caught me completely off guard, but somehow just at the right moment.
I called my grandmother to thank her for sending me a check to purchase dorm furnishings. It’s her little tradition to take the grandkids dorm shopping in the weeks leading up to their college departure, however, since I won’t be attending school anywhere within reasonable driving distance, she sent me money and let me use it to get what I needed. All was well until she began to talk about how proud she was, and how she thinks it’s brave of me to be going so far away from home so I could pursue what I have always wanted. After our little conversation, I choked out a measly “bye” and then I completely lost it.
I was in the car with my mother on the way to dinner when this little exchange took place. I cried, she cried, for a second the whole world cried, and for the life of me, I could not get it back together. I was in that state where your lips keep contorting into painful shapes and that lump in your throat just won’t go away. That state where you are doing more of an “angry cry” because you can’t stop crying. It was bad. I haven’t cried like that in a while.
So we stop off at my mom’s work to pick up her cell phone that she had left there earlier that day. (My mom owns her own preschool, and I have been working there over the summer to earn some extra money for school, and have really enjoyed my coworkers and the kids. Some of the people I work with I have known my entire life, and it’s like having a completely second family. It’s the greatest thing ever.) I walk into a room to grab the phone, and every one of my coworkers (more like friends/ second family) are there waiting on me to surprise me for a goodbye party.
You can imagine what happened next.
I lose it even worse than before. I am doing the ugly sob. Not because of sadness, but because I was surrounded by a group of people who love me completely and totally, and, I swear there is no greater feeling on earth.
That all being said, I am, yet again stuck in a contradiction. I simultaneously feel like I am leaving this whole group of dear friends who love me, and I am trying to resist the urge to say,”Forget it! I’m not going to college! I’m staying here and we’re gonna be friends and take little car rides together and play games and run errands for fun together FOREVER!” and then there is another part of me that feels like with a group of people behind me who care about me this much, how could I ever fail?
Tallyho,
Harry
p.s. I’m having dinner with my grandparents tomorrow night, and I am going to try and keep it together.
p.p.s. tomorrow is also my last day at work, and I am going to completely lose it AGAIN
p.p.p.s. I am also doing the ice bucket challenge tomorrow. It’s gonna be quite a day.
p.p.p.p.s. That photo above is me and my dearest friends, plus my BFF/ cousin. These 3 kept my surprise party hidden from me ALL WEEK, and I love them.
Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
Things change.
More appropriately for me, sh*t happens.
Sometimes, sh*t happens all at once.
I wasn’t planning on writing all that much about this experience, but, here I am. I have no real reason to complain, but when things don’t work out as you were hoping, I find it helps to vent just a little bit, even if it is to strangers on the internet.
A few months ago, I had made a post on this ever-so-neglected blog of mine, and divulged where I would be attending college. A large, well known, renowned private school in southern California. My dream school since childhood. A beacon of intelligence and excellence in (to me) the greatest city on earth. (L.A.- I don’t care how many people disagree!) However, there is a little thing called “financial aid” that those readers under the age of 18 should get to know real quick. Financial aid can save your life, and it can also ruin it. Unfortunately for me, it was the latter.
Well, I dare to say “ruin”… After all everything happens for a reason. I won’t go into all the dirty details, but what happened was, this big, prestigious, “brand name” school did not provide me with a financial aid award conducive to mine and my family’s needs. Plain and simple. (In fact, they “jipped” me for lack of a better phrase, but who’s bitter? Certainly not me..)
At the time, it felt to me like I had worked so hard to obtain something, then I finally got it, and I was not allowed to enjoy it. Like doing extra chores for a month to save money for a Game Boy. And then you save the money, buy the Game Boy, only to find that you can’t open the box. I held my dream in my own hands, and then felt it become too heavy a burden to hold any longer.
Fortunately for me, I had submitted the commitment deposit at a smaller university in southern California, a stone’s throw from LA with an up-and-coming film program. My choices were to either sell my soul to the devil and live a life of debt to pay off that “brand name” education, or attend a lesser-known (but still reputable) university that I had not even planned on attending (the commitment deposit was a contingency plan barring any unforeseen changes, which inevitably came to pass) nor had given much thought to applying to when application season was upon me. (I submitted the essay requirements the day the application was due… whoops) That being said, this smaller, non “name brand” school offered me a very generous scholarship.
The choice, in the end was clear cut. Though it was not what I originally had in mind for myself, I have decided to attend the smaller, lesser-known school, in place of the “brand name”. Am I complaining about a scholarship? No. Am I kicking myself for moving so far away? A little, but that’s another post. Do I need to check my privilege? Yes, probably. I am extremely lucky and blessed to be able to even say I am attending college at all, let alone pursuing a film degree. So many of my high school classmates were steered by their parents into a business or medical or engineering program, and I am beyond fortunate to have parents who recognize passion.
The moral of the story is, things happen and plans change and the way we envisioned our futures is very rarely the way they shape up to be.
And that is not a bad thing.
Go Panthers.
Tallyho,
Harry
Wow.
It’s been a year.
Much has transpired since I last posted on this blog shortly before Christmas last year. Rather than spend 13 paragraphs detailing my life, I felt an update in list form would be much more efficient.
1. I have decided where I’m going to college.
2. It’s (SCHOOL NAME HERE).
3. I turned 18.
4. Yikes.
5. School is almost over.
6. I couldn’t be happier about that.
7. I couldn’t be more sad about that.
8. I am having some serious struggles planning my graduation party.
9. As I write this, I am simultaneously ordering more Polaroid film.
10. I’ve spent my days half asleep in class, and my nights half asleep at home.
11. I’m going through cycles of complete apathy interspersed with bursts of sudden inspiration and energy.
12. Lately, I’ve been feeling stuck.
13. But I’m also feeling free.
14. This is a time of contradictions for me.
15. Or maybe it isn’t.
16. I’m drinking a passion tea lemonade.
17. I don’t feel like an adult yet.
18. But I want to.
19. I missed writing on this blog.
20. I’m happy to be back.
On the First Day of Christmas…
I have a big family. Really big. Gargantuan. Monolithic. Humongous. Whatever fancy word you’d like to use to describe it. It’s big. Having a big family means it’s almost always a hassle to schedule your Christmas festivities around each other. He’s working this day, she has off that day, but they don’t get off till 6. What are we eating? Who’s house are we going to? What am I bringing? Whose name do I have? Somehow, Christmas on my mother’s side ended up being yesterday (the 22nd). And, so, we ventured south to visit my grandmother (mom’s mom) and her side of the family for the first of four Christmases, sans Vince and Reese. (“Four Christmases”- haha, I sleigh myself…) The Vince joke would actually work.. I have an uncle named Vince who lives out of state and doesn’t get to visit often. Anyhew, the first day of Christmases was smashing and dazzling and extremely cold. Texas is so strange… One day it thinks it’s Arizona, and the next day it thinks it’s Maine. Make up your mind, dude. I won’t bore you with the little details of the day, but I was graciously given some sweaters, socks and a fabulous Kodak “Holiday Flash” Brownie camera from 1956 (40 years before I was born!) 
Also, I would like you all to please behold the glory of my sweater that I made the night before last. 
Please disregard the dirty counter/mirror, but feel free to bask in the glory that is my sweater. My cousin Kalee and I decided it would be fun to wear “ugly” sweaters to Christmas this year, so, naturally I went all out. 
Side Note: I feel the term “ugly” sweater is rather incorrect. This thing is glamorous and magical.
Hope everyone is having a great holiday season, whatever you celebrate!
Tallyho,
Harry
It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like I’m Going Insane
Winter is upon us, my dear readers! And if you’re in the DFW area, as well as other parts of the country, it is literally upon you. For us here in the Big D, the storm hit late Thursday night, closing schools and businesses all across the metroplex. HALLALEW! Initially, I was excited. Thrilled. Elated. A three day weekend for me! Or so I thought. Though the storm hasn’t caused any huge problems for me (i.e. my car didn’t slide off the freeway, my power didn’t go out, etc.), but I have even forced into the solitude of my room for the sake of my own sanity. I can only deal with my family for so long before the “togetherness” starts to take its toll. Yes, the house is decorated for the holidays. Yes, we’ve played board games. But no. I cannot take it for very long. Am I a typical teenager or what? Anyway, I’m posting this on Sunday, which for me is day 3 of the frozen hell in which I am currently living. It’s not even like there is snow on the ground. It’s all just hard packed ice. It’s amazing to me how life in Texas completely shuts down when there is ice on the ground. Weather here ranges from soup to nuts, so we were bound to become a tundra for a few days sometime… Regardless, I took the liberty of walking around my backyard and snapping a few photos of the ice to share here. This ice is deceiving. It plays tricks. You look at it and think, “Oh how nice! Look at all that snow! Lovely!” Do not jump into it. Do not attempt to make a snow angel. Do not attempt to have any fun with the ice at all. It will kill you. Ok maybe not, but it will give you one heck of a bruise if you jumped into it..
Hope you enjoyed these!
All photos taken on an iPhone 4S, and edited on an iPad using Snapseed (comprehensive snapseed post coming later!)
I’m Alive
Barely.
SOO much has happened in the weeks during my blogging hiatus. 4 papers have been written. A short story is in the works. Brides have fallen down stairs. And coolers have been painted. Welcome to my life. More posts to come, but until then, I leave you with this hot pic of me.
As always, y’all should totes mc’gotes follow me on my Pinterest and my Tumblr
Of Naked Greeks and Ice Cream Sandwiches.
On the day before the last day of summer, my friends and I, (plus my friend’s very fantastic and sweet mother), took a trip to downtown Dallas to visit the Dallas Museum of Art. Or DMA for those of us in the know.
Our mission: view the traveling exhibit The Body Beautiful in Ancient Greece for our AP Art History class. The exhibit is on loan to the DMA from the British Museum, and is a huge treat for art enthusiasts to go and experience while it’s here in the Big D. For those interested, the exhibit is on display until October 6th, and the DMA even has days where the exhibit is free to view. (Score!)
More after the break! Continue reading “Of Naked Greeks and Ice Cream Sandwiches.”
Band Kids and Other Minor Annoyances- Blog My Life, Aug. 22
Hello all!
I’ve decided to start using my blog to journal about my day-to-day life. That’s what blogs are for, right? Maybe I’ll post about each day, maybe about an entire week. We’ll see… Either way, I’m calling this little series “Blog My Life”! Titles are fun.
Today, I awoke super early- 7am! Early for a narcoleptic like me, anyways. Today’s task: take pictures of band students for the group picture in the yearbook. We decided the best way to go about getting a group picture of 300+ band kids was to shoot each kid individually on a green screen, and superimpose them together in Photoshop. That way, we’re not wrangling 300+ kids at once, and also, everyone’s face is visible in the final photo. Fun stuff.
Things start out perfectly swimmingly. I have a rhythm, I have my little speech prepared to give to every student. I’m smiling, even though it’s painfully early, and I’m starving! Then things take a nasty, nasty turn. A click. A dramatic beat. A drop of the heart. A wriggle of the eyebrow. A gasp of the mouth. My camera thinks today is the day to give up. He is apparently tired of me overworking him, and decided to take a nap. A permanent nap. Here I am, with 250 kids left to go, and my trusty sidekick goes kaput. I’m still heartbroken, and at a loss.
But thankfully, a quick call to my art teacher got me a fancier, newer camera, and I was back on my feet in no time! Then the battery died. But yet again, art teacher to the rescue! I completed my musical mission! Nothing is more exciting than trying to get a tuba to fit into the boundaries of a green screen.
Today’s lessons:
1) Never underestimate the helpfulness of a hoarding art teacher.
2) There is always a backup camera.
4) Keep smiling, and it’ll be over before you know it.
5) Band kids can be awkward.
Au revoir!
-Harry
p.s My camera is a Sony a55, and it’s only 2 years old! Any ideas what the problem may be, fellow photogs? It literally made a clicking noise, went black, and won’t come back on. Maybe this is finally a sign I need to buy a Canon…
How to Paint a Parking Spot
At my high school, it’s a custom for incoming seniors to purchase an assigned parking spot in the fabled “seniors-only” lot, and paint it with any design or image that pleases their little young adult hearts. As I, myself, am entering my final year of high school, I participated thusly. I waited in line for an hour, spent a little too much money on paint, braved the sweltering Texas-in-August sun, and got to work.
As I’m sure it’s easy to tell, I painted my spot as a giant, vintage looking, and (sadly), non functional camera. I’m in yearbook. I’m a photographer. It made sense. The process was fairly straight forward. Acquire spot. Plan design. Acquire paint. Paint design. And while the process in itself was rather simple, the execution of this process proved otherwise. Paint that likes to get spilled everywhere, brushes that like to get all frayed and gross, sunburns that like to make you look like a freshly boiled lobster. However, with some help from some awesome friends, patience, and a little brie cheese and crackers, this spot here came together just fine. Even though it feels like excessive effort for something I will be parking my car on top of…
Au revoir!
-Harry
Harry Brained- Photography, Life & Time Travel 